Paralysing Lack of Confidence

 

What is the paralysing effect of lack of confidence?

Lack of confidence shows up in your life in a myriad of ways. You may never find it hard, complicated, or scary to express your view, your opinion or your expert advice. Yet, when it comes to committing your professional advice to a blog, for the world to see, you may well be struck by paralysis… in the form of lack of confidence.

confidence
Being paralysed is unsettling, uncomfortable and painful. It makes your inner blog critic the main voice in your head: strong, right and omnipresent. It makes you question whether you have any true value to offer, whether you are capable of writing valuable blogs, if what you write will be good enough and if people will want to read what you’ll be writing about. This kind of thinking is stopping you right in your tracks. The thought of blogging regularly is then a paralysing one.

What happens when you don’t overcome your lack of confidence ?

I remember only too well, that blogging felt both attractive and repellent to me. Even when you can express yourself very clearly and distinctly, as I obviously did in the 12 years that I ran my translation agency, actually committing your ideas, tips, advice, thoughts and views to the internet – for the entire world to see, judge and criticise – was something so daunting that for a long time I sabotaged myself. I wrote blog posts… yet never published them. I read other people’s blog posts, and told myself that I could never be writing anything so interesting or engaging. That inner voice got the better of me for a long time. I kept focusing on my past: I was a construction engineer, good at maths, calculating reinforcement plans of pre-stressed concrete floors, and planning layouts for district general hospitals. I was no writer. I was a construction engineer, sticking to translating technical manuals, books on architecture and construction and writing blog posts about the translation industry that – for a long time – I never posted anywhere.

The real pain in that approach was that I kept playing small. Until one day, I realised that in keeping my knowledge, experience and views meant that I was selling my clients short. Why? Because I was withholding them relevant, important and essential information and insights from my clients and prospects, which impacted their business in a hidden way. Consider this: are you ever really serving your clients the best way possible if you don’t share the hidden gems you have? No, you don’t. You have a unique combination of expertise, knowledge, style, wisdom and experience that no one else can offer. Why would you let your inner blog critic stop you from serving your clients in the best way possible? They deserve the very best.

How do you gain confidence to write and publish blog posts?

There is only one way to gain confidence, and that is to play the game. Do the work. Just go and blog. Confidence comes with the doing. Don’t be led by confidence: grow confidence. Be the leader over your thoughts.

In my view there is no clear path to follow to gain confidence that fits all. However, what has worked for my, may well work for you too, so I am happy to share my most powerful insights that have built my confidence in writing engaging, authentic, valuable blog posts.

1. Confidence comes from Action

Your belief that you need confidence before you can do something well is what is paralysing you, so my message is do what I did and just start. Your best blog post is your next blog post. Really embrace that. Your best blog post will be written by first writing a blog post, and another, and another… Once written, once published, once shared, once read, once appreciated, once inspired… confidence will follow. Sooner than you may think. It is taking action by writing and publishing that creates and builds confidence. Not the other way around. Don’t wait for confidence to arrive, invite the confidence into your life, by taking action.

2. A step-by-step approach is allowed

I used to think in black-and-white, when it came to taking on projects, setting intentions and goals, and creating new habits. It was all or nothing. Do you recognise any of that? Do you tell yourself that if you set yourself a goal, you must reach it completely, timely and totally or else you will have failed? Why should you believe such a thought? What’s the benefit of believing that? There is no benefit… other than having a good reason not to start, so as not to disappoint yourself. So how would it be if you were kind to yourself? Take it one step at a time. First write a blog post. Don’t publish it yet. Don’t share it yet. Just sit with it for a while. Then decide on one trusted person you are willing to share this with. Someone who has your back, such as one of your happy clients, your soul mate, your spouse, your business partner or your best friend. Ask for specific feedback from them, such as “Would this blog post resonate with you?” or “What do you really like about this blog post, and what do you think could be improved?” Publish it when you’re ready. Share it when you’re ready. One step at a time.

3. Focus on Nourishment

It is all too easy for me, for you, to focus on what your inner blog critic says. Focus on what feels awkward. Focus on how you compare to others. I know that, and you know that. When it comes to blogging, it works just like anything else in life. When you focus on your lack of confidence to go and write your best blog posts that are engaging, what you need to do is shift that focus. Instead on focusing on the inner blog critic’s voice, try starving that inner blog critic. Starve it from attention. Focus on thoughts and feelings that nourish you. Feed your thoughts with decisions, choices and actions that support and nourish you to go and write those blog posts. Your clients need your blog posts. The world needs your wisdom. Go and share your wonderful gifts with the world.

Now, I would love to hear from you what it is that really resonates with you in this blog post. Please leave your comment here, as I know you’re not the only one who needs to silence your inner blog critic. You’d be helping so many other entrepreneurs silencing theirs. Would you do that for me?

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Live, Love & Leave your Legacy
Saskia
xx

18 thoughts on “Paralysing Lack of Confidence

  1. Joycet Reinders

    The only way to gain confidence, is to play the game. For SURE. When there is a lack in your willingness to play a game you become discouraged. You distract to your comfortzone and we all know what will be the outcome. You give up or have to start again and again and again and……..so on. Been there, done that. Thank you Saskia for this encouraging blog. Xx

    Reply
    1. Saskia van de Riet Post author

      That’s a great summary, Joycet. And still it can creep up on any of us, at any time. And that’s ok… you will know how to shift focus.
      Saskia
      xx

      Reply
  2. Fiona Monson

    Such good advice, Saskia – a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step!

    Reply
    1. Saskia van de Riet Post author

      Beautifully put, Fiona, and I’m very glad you liked it!
      Saskia
      xx

      Reply
  3. Veron Goemans

    So true Saskia, everything you mention in your article. The thing is that I never listen to my critical voice when I upload a video, but when it comes to writing a blog…..And yes I know, the only thing I have to do is write that blog and post it :-).

    Reply
    1. Saskia van de Riet Post author

      Nothing is stopping you, Veron. I wish you many blog posts and little or no paralysis!
      Saskia
      xx

      Reply
  4. Karen Sammer

    Saskia…I believe you have revealed some my demons and brought them to the light of day. Now they can shrivel up and die Thank you for this post. I needed to see exactly what you wrote.

    Reply
    1. Saskia van de Riet Post author

      That is amazing, Karen, to reveal your demons… you don’t need them. Now, you are liberated!
      Saskia
      xx

      Reply
    1. Saskia van de Riet Post author

      Thanks Kirsty, and it’s all systems go, for you now!
      Saskia
      xx

      Reply
  5. Samantha Taki

    HI there, great post. I have often set up goals (some realistic and some not) that I have not made and was ready to give up. For a while I thought I was alone. I eventually realized that is not the case, and your post reminded me of that when I am having a bad day, week, etc. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the challenge.

    Reply
    1. Saskia van de Riet Post author

      Hi Samantha, thank you for you beautiful words. I wish you a happy blogging journey!
      Saskia
      xx

      Reply
  6. Official_dlh

    Lack of confidence really kicks, just as it is writing in the article, for someone who wants to be a blogger, you don’t really have to care whether people are going to like your post or not. You should also understand that no matter how good your article, some people are still gonna dislike it. So be confident enough to put your article and keep blogging.

    Reply
  7. Kate Benzin

    Hey Saskia – Have you been running around in my mind? Your thoughts in this post are so true and so vital for all of us to recognize. And your 3 action steps are perfect. Of course, #3 is the most difficult – getting rid or at least hiding that naysayer in each of us. But being the turtle instead of the hare wins the race. So doing step 3 slowly but surely will bring each of us around to writing the posts of our dreams.

    Reply
    1. Saskia van de Riet Post author

      Absolutely Kate, nourish the blogging turtle in you… he is always home within himself, too. It’s not a race, it’s a journey and you can take the smallest of steps, moving forward.
      Saskia
      xx

      Reply
  8. Julia Neiman

    Confidence comes from Action, how true that is. Nothing happens without taking action. I grew up a fairly confident child. One of the only things I don’t feel confident about is speaking on stage. I really get nervous for some reason. I guess this means I have to do it more.

    Reply
    1. Saskia van de Riet Post author

      Hi Julia, how wonderful that you grew up a confident child… many don’t… and yes, we can also develop all sorts of anxieties and fears during the course of our lives. Speaking in public appears to be in the top three major fears world wide apparently. I had that… and doing it more definitely works for me any time!
      Saskia
      xx

      Reply

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